don't hate on jewel encrusted swans

You know those old, Upper East Side ladies that carry jewel-encrusted Judith Leiber peacock/Eiffel tower/houseboat clutches? I know you judge them, but don’t. They’re fabulous.  See below (Grrrawwwr!).

The thing about clutches is that you’re not actually wearing them- you’re just holding them. So if you can’t even hold something outrageous, then you're not giving yourself enough credit. And what’s more is that they’re actually functional! That those old ladies can store lipsticks and credit cards in sparkly replicas of pagodas is downright impressive to me.  Behold:

(I think this pose would hurt my arms.)
 
I mean, imagine if Bjork’s Oscar swan had been a delicate little feather clutch instead of a giant bird dress. Maybe a little awkward, but almost kinda cute! And it would’ve been just the right amount of avian charm to match her creepy Icelandic vibe. So when you’re thinking clutch, go nuts. Neon, sequins, recycled tires… they’re all great.

I don't carry very many clutches (yet another aside about my unglamorous life), but here's a delightful flapper number (Inge Christopher) I recently paired with a bronze Grecian dress.



Yes, it looks like Cousin It, which is part of the appeal (it’s fun to swish around the beads—wheee!). Plus, I love the ornate chain and clasp, and it fits a surprising amount of stuff.